I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
