Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Randomize
