Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
