I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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