I think i sorta joined a cult last night
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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