I just pynch a tree in the face
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
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