It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize