fuck your aforementioned shoe
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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