K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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