i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
