Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
