The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
