You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
