Non-Jews are for practice
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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