god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
