Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
