...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
