She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
