Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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