She announced her abortion via fbk
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize