WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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