I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
