I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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