she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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