I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I have feelings that need drinking.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
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