I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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