I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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