I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
