No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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