so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
