check it out our google latitudes are spooning
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
Randomize
