My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
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