whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
