i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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