Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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