she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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