youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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