This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
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