You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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