dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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