remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
