Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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