i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
