It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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