just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
