yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
