i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
