We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Randomize
