Sponge bath it is.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
we should paint friendship bongs
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
