Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
it was like eating out sand paper
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
