But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Also, beer. Big fan.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
