They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
