doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
