today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
