I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize