So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Randomize