he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
