that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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