what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
My dick has a subreddit
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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