if you like me you must not know who I am
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Dignity is for republicans.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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