their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
