just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
