Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize