these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
