White coat. Heels.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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