omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
