He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Verdict: uncircumcised.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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