Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
