Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
my liver is dry heaving
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
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