Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She needs sedatives and a leash
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
