This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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